Tuesday, March 27, 2007

it's taken me a lot of self-restrain not to type a whole sob story here this past week... well, rumours had been going ard, but i was quite relak abt it until the country manager officially broke the news to all of us at CXSIN APT on 22nd mar that out of the 80+ of us, only the top 9 are staying... the status of the rest of us? RETRENCHED. yup. i've been retrenched at the tender age of 21. my first official job. one that i love so much. sure, all of us are sad, all of us cried. even linda, who's one of the staying supervisors, she cried one of the hardest... what to do. most of us felt helpless, lost, bitter, angry, grieved... yours truly included. we've gone through screaming passengers during flight delays, typhoon praipiroon, over-overbooked flights, passengers strikes... we gave so much of ourselves, n yet we find ourselves in this state now. personally i dun blame the management... most rant on abt how the company has shut so many mouths. but it's a very logical business decision to cut costs n increase efficiency. i just feel so sad to leave the pple n the company i love so much... D-day is 6th may apparently. i've nv seen all of us so close-knit, nor seen so many lost n dejected faces as well. what am i gonna do? i've tried looking outside... but my heart still remains with Cathay Pacific. friends n family dun understand why i'm so dedicated to CX... honestly i can't really put it into words as well, except that this is really like another family to me. so... there are internal vacancies. i'll try for them... even tho it feels so different. things will nv be the same w/o the friends i've found here, esp linda, charmaine n karen... but life has to go on still rite? perhaps it's the grace of God, that many more doors are now open to me! if things were nt like this, i'd perhaps have nv moved myself, nv be able to step out n step nearer to the realisation of my dreams...


posted at 9:18 PM

Friday, March 16, 2007

posted at 9:52 PM

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

these past few days i re-discovered another part of my family i nv really got to know... well maybe it began abt a mth ago when my grandfather became quite ill with liver cancer... to rmbr him frm my younger days when he was still grinning n rolly-polly, cycling strong to and frm the market where he set up his stall... to how we saw him skin-and-bones during his stay in the hospital. he did get his wish of coming home to spend chinese new year, if only for the 10 days he was there in bed, too weak to sit up or even to speak. but i knew frm the look in his eyes that he did love me n sheryl, his grandchildren who lived one flr above but ever so distant. i guess there was a mutual understanding btwn us, albeit more cld have been done... a few days ago i wondered to myself, how can i really love him much when he hasn't given me anything in my life (or vice versa)? then suddenly it came upon me that he gave me one of the most impt things, unique only to me; he gave me my chinese name, 黄莉芳. such a beautiful name, a vision of how he wanted his granddaughter to live, always bringing fragrance.


so when he passed away last saturday, it was so sudden that i din really know how to respond. someone i know yet don't know... 4 days of taoist funeral rites in which me, my mum n sis spent trying to avoid all the ceremonies that my father, being the oldest son, had to go thru. but what surprised me maybe, was how my dad actually told the priest on his own accord that we 3 did nt have to go thru all these. it really touched me, bcos i knew he saw that the Jesus we believed in is real. as i watched my father, i realised he knew all these were nothing, but he needed to fulfill his responsibility. seeing how he knew his father, i realised how i've misunderstood my own father for many years. n i felt the wall in my heart slowly crumble... everyone knows love. i thank God that we've forever been redeemed into His family by Jesus' blood... bcos He first loved us. bcos He so loved us. one day indeed my dad will call Jesus Lord.
posted at 5:47 PM