Tuesday, May 31, 2005

sometimes i tink i become very ugly. like when i flare up n show my temper to pple who don't know betta, n when i show "attitude" juz bcos pple gimme the "attitude... these are times i go "argh!!" n just hate myself for morphing into somebody i don't want to be... but then, i have to realise, n keep on realising, dat what i tink of myself in my flesh dosen't matter at all.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17

i am no longer subject to circumstances anymore... i am subject now to His grace n mercies dat are new EVERY MORNING. Jesus' blood FOREVER n CONTINUALLY cleanses me from all my sins, dat my Heavenly Father sees me FOREVER His beloved, FOREVER the righteousness of Jesus... n thus He FOREVER embraces me in His loving arms n keeps on blessing me! sure, i'm no more deserving than any other bcos of what i do, but my Father has QUALIFIED me. The King's Word has gone forth n CANNOT BE REVOKED!

holiness is not something i achieve, attain or even maintain... true holiness can only come from above. n true holiness is in me when i just cease from my own works, when i just take my hands off my circumstances n let Jesus take over. i don't have to prove myself to be what He has already made me to be. nothing i do can make Him love me more, or love me less.

Jesus has everything beyond the galaxies He has created. Jesus has MORE THAN ENOUGH of anything, bcos He is the CREATOR Himself. yet He has come down all the way to be with me, bcos all He wants is to love me. how can i bear to look back to myself, when such a great n beautiful Lover has come all this way to be with me, to embrace me n to love me?
posted at 9:01 PM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

God is SOOOOO good! His love n grace just keeps abounding n abounding... i dun deserve anything in n of myself, yet i'm blessed left-right-upside-down simply bcos Jesus has redeemed me with His blood! n God CANNOT deny this perfection! who knows perfection better than perfection Himself? u noe, God dosen't just HAVE TO bless us bcos of Jesus' perfect sacrifice, He DESIRES beyond anything that we prosper n be in health! it's so illogical to the natural mind, that God just wants us to REST in Him, let Him WORK in us, n then show His GLORY through us! but this is just it, we only have to be THERE! in that place where we're called to be, n THERE He provides, THERE He blesses!

THERE i am.
posted at 12:08 AM

Thursday, May 19, 2005

i'm so happy!!! got a really interesting n fun phone call ydae... i'm getting another opportunity to play a part in the ministry! haha... secret for now... but i'm so excited! i'm gonna be working with such amazing n annointed pple, it's gonna be awesome! =D

God's hand of favour, wisdom n blessings has been so strong in my life... everyday when i meet difficult passengers at work, when i meet sulky colleagues, sometimes it's easy to start tinking like how pple of the world do... that we hafta fight our way thru, that we hafta be nice n try to make frens with everyone... but i see all is futile. with God on my side, i dun hafta try to be, i AM. i dun hafta prove myself to others wat God has made me. it's such a pity for pple without God who hafta try to impress other pple, who in the end are in the same state as themselves. all trying to attain happiness, peace, prosperity. God has ALREADY given me all these ETERNAL gifts n MORE when He gave Jesus on the cross! i have the high-life! my future is as bright n as sure as God's promises!
posted at 7:09 PM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

it's not the real world out there. pple do not really treat u as a fellow human being with feelings. pple do not really treat u nice bcos they are nice. n u noe wat, u cannot really trust them bcos they cannot maintain ur trust in them for long. it's not a real world at all.

BUT...

God REALLY loves us bcos He has made us all so unique, cos He made us just the way He wants us. God REALLY is faithful even when we have every bit of doubt flying past in our minds. n we can always trust God to come thru for us, bcos there is one thing God cannot do. God REALLY cannot lie!

all His Words of promise in the Bible are living and for us to take hold of! blessed is the man whose trust is in the Lord, n not in man... we shall be like trees planted by the waters! always in the flow of blessings, always provided for, always fruitful, always in divine health! we shall see when GOOD comes, n not when the heat comes! we're out of this world! we're seated in the heavenlies with Jesus! THIS is the REAL world we live in as children of God!
posted at 10:10 PM

Sunday, May 08, 2005

i do have friends after all. so precious are kingdom friends who always remind me of how loved i am, to Christ n to them. perhaps there are some who need to be selfish for a while, but surely there are others who always care and love me in their own sweet manner. i realise there's nothing to pretend, nothing to force... God is love. just let God out of me naturally.
posted at 10:55 PM

Thursday, May 05, 2005

my feet are SOOOOOOOOO hurting frm all the walking all over the airport in the WRONG shoes. i CAN'T fit into a size 10 no more, so i'm stuck with this pair of 3-inch tall ones which have been squeezing my feet like pitted prunes. i dun understand why women are put thru such torture. i mean for looking pretty for a while fine lah... but ask me wear for 8hrs n walk n walk!! HALLELUJAH. God please show me where i can find a nice comfy pair of SHORT court shoes that fit my feet n dat won't burn off my pockets!

i enjoy my "job" so far in cathay pacific... we go ard the airport to the departure area n observe, went on the planes again... sit on business class seats for a while, have some juice before going back office... haha. working in the airport is so far every bit as fun as i imagined it to be. so diverse roles we play when in check-in, arrival, departure n ramp. it never gets mundane, cos every day u meet different passengers with different needs n wants. like tdy we learnt how to strap a CELLO to a seat. @@ but there's so much to learn at one short, i hafta admit butterflies fluttering in my stomach juz tinking abt going on my own, BUT GOD'S HAND OF FAVOUR IS UPON ME. n that is THE ONE THING that matters most. knowing that it is ALL OF JESUS, N NONE OF ME. that He prospers me regardless of my performance. i dun hafta strive to be in my bosses n seniors' good books, bcos i m God' beloved n favourite babe, n it's undeniable! hahaha. i still waiting to get uniform n start officially lah. then see God work His supernaturally natural miraculous wonders in my life!
posted at 11:04 PM

Sunday, May 01, 2005

i'm a very blessed girl. i feel so loved today... God is faithful, lift up ur desires to Him n He IMMEDIATELY opens doors for u, but it is up to u to take. ydae i thot i had not enough to give. tdy i feel i have EVERYTHING, n i wanna give n give! i believe Abba saw my desire... but it wasn't i who gave first, but pple who gave unto me first.

i woke up n saw $50 on my table, money my grandma had blessed me with. this was the beginning of the abundance God ensures me with, that He will always provide for me even when i tink i lack! after church while i was out with family, i met some of the cg pple, n zixin purposely came up to me n he brought me to buy an ice-cream cone for me! i was so touched he rmbred i love ice-cream... :") made me smile oso cos so cute when he played with charis girl... n dear little charis was so bashful, she kept smiling coyly to herself after that! haha...

then when i got home i got to hang out with 3 of my cousins frm my father's side - ferdinand, 9, felicia,7, n jackwin, 5. it brought me so much joy to be able to sit with them n teach them in their hw n just chat with them. they're cousins i see prob only abt 3 times a year, cousins whom i dun really rmbr even their names... yet they're children i felt so much love towards bcos i sensed so much love n hope Jesus has placed in their lives. i felt so much joy being able to give them chocolates, crayons, n some of my used but useable stuff like pencil cases n wallets... something that made me very happy too when my older cousins did the same when i was young. being the oldest grandchild on my father's side makes me feel so protective towards them, i wish i cld just hug them n tell them how much Jesus loves them. i hang out so much with charis girl n i noe it's so precious to see young lives growing to be impacted by Jesus' love, n i want to be that BEACON OF LIGHT to my younger cousins n other nieces - tanita n tasha, too.

sometimes i feel like i'm just a grown-up with kid wants. it makes me feel so loved when pple give me ice-cream just bcos they noe it makes me happy. it makes me feel even more loved by my Abba bcos i noe each n every one in my life has been placed here to love me n for me to love. nbdy needs to noe what i need, bcos my Abba is my Provider. He spares no effort in making sure WHATEVER i want gets to me! truly, giving completes the grace cycle, yet GRACE ALWAYS STARTS WITH RECEIVING FIRST. receiving His gift of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. receiving His gift of RIGHTEOUSNESS. receiving His gift of abundant PEACE N JOY. then we are able to give unto others the same, but we will never run low bcos our Abba keeps OVERFLOWING us with His INFINITE supply!

i have made that decision n i will not waver. i want to see Jesus turn water to beautiful wine. i want to be that vessel that pours it into precious lives.

life treats me like Jesus, like a precious princess of the Most High. it's time i begin treating myself the same way first.
posted at 9:22 PM