Monday, December 27, 2004

i love my life. *satisfied ahhh...* bcos why? bcos of Jesus lor. haha. He's juz so good. i noe everything is working out for my good, bcos His thoughts r above mine, n they r of love n to prosper me! God has gone into 2005, n has declared it GOOD! AMEN HALLELUJAH! His abundant supernatural favour is upon me, it's making me IRRESISTIBLE! hee hee~ i can praise Him, i can thank Him... even tho there dosen't seem to be any reason to rejoice. bcos i noe God's blessings haf gone forth, n no one can revoke them! i can rejoice bcos i m His favourite n He said so! :)

posted at 1:26 AM

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas seems so much different from the rest of the years... the most amazing probably being the fact dat Jesus has been magnified n glorified thru'out the whole of orchard rd thru performances etc! it's juz wonderful how we can share the good news of Jesus to the masses, noeing dat Jesus is the reason for the season! how Jesus came to be born into this world as a baby boy... how He was born, nt to live, but so dat He wld one day die on the cross to reconcile us to God! our church's music ministry oso performed at orchard park for 2 nights... n it was AWESOME! God's presence was so tangible in dat place, n i believed we were all touched in our hearts wif all the praise n worship, nt to mention all the fun! juz one reason for this joy of Christmas, JESUS CHRIST Himself.

actually i juz came back frm a whole night or carolling at our deacons' houses. we had been rehearsing since a couple of weeks back. n yet altho it may seem like juz singing Christmas songs, everyone was so excited over it, esp me! we got to noe a lot of pple much betta bcos of the times of fellowship... n it's really nt abt the quality of singing, but singing together in one accord, singing the glory n beauty of our Lord Jesus! the feeling is juz... WOW! ydae we were all dressed in white tops n blue jeans, n we looked n sounded so glorious, all 50 of us! haha... we were so blessed ourselves, even tho we travelled all over to the houses. so much fun!

it's so precious, the time dat i haf wif my fellow brothers n sisters... each time i get to noe someone else in campus ministry more, i get so blessed by the friendship... bcos it's eternal, kingdom friendship. dey love n encourage me, dey care n look after me... n we haf lotsa fun together! nt bcos i've done anything for them, but bcos of wat Jesus has done for us bcos He loves us. there r so many i want to get to noe more, bcos i learn so much frm their lives... yet sometimes my quiet nature tends to "slow down" dat process which i want quickened! it's been kinda bothering me, like, i wanna learn how to talk more! strike up an interesting conversation wif a stranger... hah. yeah... but like how? den a sister shared wif me dat i gotta be real, wif myself if nt for others... if i keep trying to please everyone, den hu is the real me? another brother oso shared something precious... precious bcos i was juz telling him i wanna learn how to talk more. but he told me no, dun try to change myself. n he shared some more, stuff dat i felt was really sensitive of him, n it kinda impressed me... well, i admit i've been rather down these few days, still looking to myself to produce the results i desire to see in my life maybe... but tdy. CHRISTMAS DAY. i believe Jesus dropped a little reminder in my heart. He came 2000 yrs ago as a baby boy, gave up His Heavenly kingdom riches to be born in a lowly manger... den to die on the cross stripped of everything. now i'm in Him. i'm nt TRYING to be rich, i AM RICH! i'm nt TRYING to haf favour, i HAVE FAVOUR! i'm nt TRYING to be strong, i AM STRONG! i'm nt TRYING to be blessed, I AM THE BLESSED! the BELOVED of God! amen hallelujah! thank You Lord, that You loved ME so much You came for ME! the real gift of Christmas is YOU!

posted at 10:58 AM

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

i don't understand. i'm nt being prideful, bcos i noe my intentions. yet y do i still let myself be affected by wat dey say? i respect dem, n i honour dem... but most of all, it's simply cos i love dem n i see Jesus' love in us. but issit juz me hu has to learn? y do dey nt understand maybe sometimes i juz share wif them as a friend, as a sister... nt juz a sheep dat desperately needs guidance? i dun like to be told i'm childish as much as u dun. does the sheep need to understand the shepherd's heart first, or does the shepherd need to understand the sheep's heart first? i noe my Shepherd loves me despite n in spite of me, dat's where i find my love for Him. i still need my Jesus. i still need to learn. i juz wish i din feel like i hafta meet so many pple's expectations. i noe i dun haf to. i still need to noe the one thing dat is needful... dat is to sit at Jesus' feet. to hear His words... to noe dat God is my loving Father who only desires to love n lavish me. n i'm not gonna let the devil steal my joy, i'm NOT gonna let him touch my goods!!!

posted at 1:49 AM

Monday, December 20, 2004

my life is not a bed of roses right now. i'm facing the same challenge over again, n it may seem like a helpless situation, yet i noe wat i see is a lie. my God, my Heavenly Father... He's holding my hand, He will nv leave me nor forsake me. Jesus gave Himself on the cross, for ME! for my victory! for my abundant life! how is there any possibility at all dat i should be forced to accept my circumstances, to live beneath my privileges as a blood-bought daughter of the Almighty God?? yet perhaps sometimes now i listen more to my mind than my spirit. i hate the way my chest tightens n my heart feels like it's being squeezed of wateva it contains... i hate the way my eyes swell n burn with hot tears... i hate feeling sorry for myself! "wat m i gonna do? wat m i gonna do? how m i gonna get thru the days?" juz keeps running thru my head, n i'm tired. i dun wanna go out there n be the one to solve all the problems, yet i muz remind myself dat these challenges are bread for a champion, n Jesus has made me dat champion! i'm nt gonna listen to my mind anymore! i only wanna hear wat my Father has to say abt me!! my God has NEVER n WILL NEVER ever say dat i ask too much! i will bank on God's resources to supply wat i have nt, n empower me where i cannot!

lynne once shared with us on the way back frm hm5, dat God keeps all our tears in a bottle. every single tear i've cried is precious in His eyes, n nt a single one does He miss. He collects each n every drop n keeps them in a bottle. n like the woman in the Bible who washed Jesus' feet with her tears n wiped them with her hair... so will i hafta learn to cast all my tears, my worries, my anxieties, my cares... at Jesus' feet. i want to look into His eyes, i want to see the immense love He has for me in them. i want to feel His comforting hand on my cheek, n feel His warm embrace. i want to abandon myself in His love, n feel like the whole world has dissolved away. i want to noe w/o a doubt, dat He is the way, the truth n the life... FOR ME.

posted at 9:49 PM

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

u noe, sometimes i wonder why. sometimes (like now) i get tired n i wish i could juz be so real wif my feelings. but then it muz be God's grace in me, dat i juz can't bring myself to do wat i tink i wld haf done, or say wat i tink i wld haf said. thank God, cos i noe i wldn't want anything to turn out dat way! i really praise God dat it is no longer i who live, but Christ who lives in me... dat wateva i do, His love n grace juz pours out. n i noe it can only be Jesus, bcos in my own flesh i'd nv be able to do these. He is the reason i'm so loved, so favoured, so blessed... He has done it all for me, all i need to do now is only to rest upon His bosom, n hear His heart beat wif love for me!

p.s my nickname is no longer sharlaporc (shar-the-pig, u ignoramus... where haf u been. haha.), but sharlabelle (shar-the-BEAUTIFUL)!!! haha... muz confess the right thing over my life mah. so... make sure u call me right! i'll only respond to SHARLABELLE! heehee... ;)

posted at 11:45 PM

Friday, December 10, 2004

posted at 1:41 AM

Monday, December 06, 2004

wow!! God is SO good! i juz read my previous blog n i realised God really met n far exceeded all my expectations for hm5!! hallelujah! came back frm kuantan ydae, n i wish i was still back there n in hm5! love the hotel n room servce, glorious buffet meals 3x a day, the beautiful beach n waves, n most of all lotsa praise n worship n sharing of the Word!! it was an amazing 5 days there... God reached into my heart n touched me so tenderly! deacon ministered for broken dreams to be restored, there was an outpouring of God's love for us as a Father... n i knew dat i had a personal encounter wif God, n He certainly confirmed my destiny. i'm still basking in His glory n beauty... n i noe the annointing has increased... the days ahead r gonna be exciting, bcos i noe we're gonna reap a harvest of the seeds sown! praise God... kingdom friendships wif nt juz care grp but oso campus pple were strengthened, n we got to noe each other so much more... so precious. wow. hm5, my first ever camp... n God is faithful, He reached out n spoke gently to me along this journey. His love is so amazing! can't help but juz fall in love more n more wif Him!!

posted at 11:21 PM

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

finally... hm5 is here! i'm leaving for kuantan in 20 hrs time... the one yr i've waited seems so long, yet when i look back, i've grown n learned so much. i guess it has prepared me to expect great things in my life. going for this camp is nt like, whoa, God can do greater miracles there... even tho He will do miracles in our lives. but i wanna go there noeing He sees my hopes, dreams n expectations, n dat He will speak to me. dat He will show His love so real to me... dat He will confirm my high calling n destiny in Jesus! amen.

posted at 1:50 AM