Saturday, November 27, 2004

God's love is so real... so, so real. i asked n He answered. i cried out n He embraced me... Let Me love you. Let go... this isn't the first time i've heard Him tell me this. but this time it was juz so tender, so loving... like Father to daughter. n i let go. Thank You Lord, that You always pursue me with ur love, ur love dat empowers me... to overcome myself.

posted at 11:49 PM

Sunday, November 21, 2004

i'm so glad n so honoured to haf been able to fellowship n spend time wif dem tdy, as frens as well... got to hear them share abt themselves n their experiences... yet when it came to me, i cldn't bring myself to reveal the innermost desires of my heart. nt bcos i din feel comfortable wif dem... quite the contrary. i love dem dearly, dey've touched my life n my heart so much. but how cld i tell the whole truth when... when dey're part of it? i'm quite sad now... cos i want to pour out to dem, yet i noe i cannot, i juz cannot... maybe when the time n the peace cums, i'll share. but until i come to terms wif myself, i guess i hafta live wif my feelings.

posted at 1:27 AM

Monday, November 15, 2004

i thank God He's showing me how to look to Jesus more n more in my daily life, n not to the pple ard me to give me help, give me comfort, give me happiness... praise Jesus. i've been blessed with so many loved ones in my life, but my source of joy is the Lord! i rmbr lynne shared with me, dat God is not just interested in my ministry in church, He's interested in ME! He's interested in everything dat i do, everything dat i surround myself with! my family, care group, church, friends, studies, work... His desire is for me to live the abundant life n prosper my ministry in all these areas! hallelujah! i can't help being blessed bcos i'm the beloved princess of the Most High! i love my life... hee.

posted at 11:00 AM

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

oh gosh. i really dunno wat to do... nt dat i can do much. how? i noe i will hurt someone's feelings, yet on the other hand i noe the other oso needs me? nt to puff myself up... hai. everything is so ironic. i noe it is nt me hu is gonna work the miracles n healing of hearts n relationships, but it is Jesus n by His grace n lovingkindness only... amen. really grace grace... "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." - John 14:27 ok Jesus, it is nt by my efforts, so i haf no need to worry or be anxious. it's Your love dat'll see us thru, Your love dat has been engraved on our hearts... wateva the devil has stolen frm us, he shall haf to restore 7-fold! n God will multiply a 1000x more, n increase us nt juz in quantity but quality as well!

how is it time n again i'm tempted to believe i haf hope there? oh well. undeserved, unmerited favour, sharmaine... my part is juz to love n love... n let God love me, love us...

posted at 1:35 AM

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

i am happy... bcos i noe i m so loved. dosen't matter wat happens frm now... i juz noe He is holding my hand n walking me thru. He gives me only all of Heaven's best, n i shall nt settle for anything less than wat He has for me.

posted at 2:20 AM

Sunday, November 07, 2004

this has been on my mind almost all the time. where have dey gone? where m i now? how do i handle myself now dat i haf only Him? Jesus has redeemed me wif His blood. He has redeeemed me from emotional turmoil. i feel like i'm on an emotional roller-coaster. i'm almost falling back into feeling lonely n sorry for myself, but i will not allow it. bcos Jesus has qualified me for overabounding joy. "Sharmaine" - means song of joy; bountiful orchard. pastor prince preached b4 dat a person's name bcums his/her nature. God has made me, made my nature to be dat of joy n adundance! hallelujah...

friends may turn away from me sometimes, but Jesus is always embracing me, courting me... He noes my heart, my idiosyncracies, my fallacies... yet He still calls me His beloved, His desired one. the greatest love story ever told, was when the Son of God came down to earth to redeem us all with His blood. not bcos of wat we've done, or we we'll do, but simply bcos He loves us. the world may not understand, n may wonder how can such good be true... but it is, praise God, for His ways r simple yet powerful. this Jesus, He's my Saviour, my Lover, my Best Friend...

posted at 1:08 AM

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

actually u noe wat. i'm kinda getting used to my job. getting used to seeing pple's black faces all day, n nt getting affected by dat. knowing dat Jesus is standing wif me when i stand, knowing dat He's smiling at everyone dat passes by, knowing dat He's speaking kindly to the pple we cum across... dat's where i get my strength.

i broke down after service on sunday... pastor joshua was speaking to someone among us, someone who had been driven to tears during the wk bcos of the situation at work... i believe God was speaking to me thru him. pastor joshua went on to say dat God noes wat i'm going thru, n He will bring me out, He will cause a complete turnaround in my situation... amen. amen. amen. God is so faithful u noe... He loves me in every little way. He held back the rain on ecp on the sat we had our cg bbq when the rest of s'pore was pouring. we saw the lightning n heard the thunder, but the rain din fall upon us. juz like my situation now. i see all the snakes around me, my circumstances... n i get scared, troubled, upset, depressed... when all i hafta do is look upon the bronze serpent on the pole, Jesus' finished work on the cross for me to remind myself of my victory over these. the works of the devil cannot come near me, bcos i'm set on high wif Him. juz like peter cld walk on water when He kept his eyes on Jesus, n how he started to sink when he looked at the waves of water ard him... so will i be above my circumstances as long as i keep my trust fixed on Jesus, n nt on the waves in my life, n He will nv allow me to sink. never. in fact. i'm walking on water.

posted at 1:12 PM